I am nearing closer to the ritual, and I am feeling the anticipation soaring through my body. I have had my brain full of thoughts, ideas but when I go to write it just disappears. May be some things are meant to be out floating around the net. It has been so busy, I feel like some times I can’t come up for breath. I am having to draw my boundaries and enforce them. My job has been quiet challenging, as I am working a lot and not taking some time to myself. We’ve had to let go 2 people, one has been a complete idjit and a total let down…but this was all foretold to the lady I work with. She asks for our opinion, we tell her what we see, and she just let stuff go on and on. I do not understand why she keeps investing in people just because of their beautiful words. This frustration has made a lot of resistance develop with in my life, so I am having to step back. There was a lot of energy placed in this person, on just a word. At times, it feels as if those intuitive abilities that she wants in her people are not respected by her. She is so ecstatic that she let go of this guy, its like she finally worked up the nerve. For me, if I am paying your pay check, you work for me and I am not intimidated by you. I am glad she is learning to honor her own boundaries, and I do believe it is a ripple of the work that I have been doing ( this boundary thing is affecting my friend as well).
The phase of life I am in, is about learning what I want, focusing, and taking the bull by the horns. I have became a master multi-tasker, and a bit of a workaholic. I am having to learn to step back and take some ME time. There is a lot of stuff I am wanting to do, but I am staying worn out (from working all the time and running here, there, and yonder) that I just want to chill for a while. I do not like not having the ME time that I so need. Balance. I am having to learn how to juggle all of my life, having it work simultaneously together. The new moon is approaching, so I am feeling some time inner is needed. I feel like some thing is holding me back…but what? Is this just the energy I am in as I prepare for initiation? I just feel like I am at a turning point. I am so not the person I was in the beginning of this journey. I have become so guarded with my energy, and who I share it with. The Maiden Goddess has fully turned int o the Mother Goddess as I see that all things have limits. Even within myself, my flower-child-side has calmed down. I am not so free with myself. I do feel some inner anger, and it comes about when some one tries to “figure me out”. Really?? Is that anger an emotional reaction to fear? Am I just afraid of what is to come? Laziness?? Past dreams keep coming back to me, and I feel like they are playing out. I really am feeling this transition. The new moon will be in Gemini, and She’s all about integrating the dualities of life. Venus in Mars right now is really putting the focus on self, and what truly serves me for the greatest benefit. North Node in Leo is just bluntly asking me what works for me, what do I truly want in life, what is my authentic expression……What brings me joy, what does it look like to walk my own path, right here and now, what is my Soul’s desire?
I am feeling a great bit more transition, not really clear on what that will be, but I trust that it will be of my own accord. I actually feel like the whole world is having a huge energetic shift. I am beginning to see many things that I have been manifesting come into being and I feel really good about that. I just got to trust in my magic more. Witches are born from the inside out, so I am being birthed. All these feelings cant be written, only experienced.